Mary Riley

Mary “someone rich” Riley was born in the good ol’ U of K. That’s Great Britain, for all you uncultured swine. She moved here against her better judgement, and now has a much lamer accent than she otherwise would. Poor Mary.

After exiting that weird emo phase she went through in middle school, her sunny disposition overtook everyone. Imagine a sun imploding. Imagine the light emitting. That’s Mary, except instead of dying you’re just awash in positivity. She is definitely the one who wrote this, and any scientific mistakes are her fault.

Mary also dabbles in art, but it’s really just a hobby. She’s okay, she guesses. Art isn’t really a passion of hers or anything. Of course not. Why would you think that. She hates improvisational comedy too. Mary is a negative nelly! This profile is really contradictory. That’s because it was actually written by Julia Krueger. Check out her profile! She’s really cool. But back to Mary. Ask her what her ambitions are and she’ll tell you that it’s to eat a whole cake. She could probs do it.